Are you actually able to breath with your head that far up your ass?

I guess both questions were rhetorical in nature as I doubt any creditors read this mess. But if you are a creditor… go fuck yourself! Oh, and if you are having trouble breathing in there lemme help you by retroactively adjusting my foot in your ass.

Why am I so upset over credit cards? Well, if you follow me at all you might be aware that I enjoy Frontline. No, not the flea and tick remover (in case you actually wanted to visit them… I included a link) but the brilliant documentary program on PBS. The latest release is called The Card Game and it details why the credit company’s are having fun screwing you (In case you love Frontline as I do and want to know more about credit cards check out Secret History of The Credit Card).

What makes me the most upset and also somewhat confused is the policy of Credit Cards to retroactively adjust interest rates. Here’s an example of what this is: Person A (let’s call him Joe) buys a plane ticket for $500. Joe’s credit card which he got through Bank A (let’s just call it ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne) has an APR (Annual Percentage Rate… interest) of 15%. All seems fine and dandy. Joe buys a plane ticket for $500 and so accepts the loan agreement with a 15% APR from ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne. Suddenly ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne decides to raise Joe’s APR to 30% because a check he paid for his Car Lease (let’s just say he drives a Hybrid Hummer… too unbelievable? ok how bout a Ford Taurus?) got lost in the mail. Because Joe had a financial issue completely unrelated to ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne they decide to raise his APR. To fully understand this though let’s be more specific on what ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne did to Joe, this is were the WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT BULLSHIT moment comes. ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne changed an agreed upon interest rate for a loan already paid out. Where else is it acceptable to change rates previously agreed upon? The company’s can say all they want that those are the conditions agreed upon, but I guess Joe missed the fine print in the contract about ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne being heartless douche bags… Further more, what does his Ford Taurus have to do with ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne? For a group that advocates so strongly for the governmentto  “stay out of our business,” and “this doesn’t concern you,” they sure are hypocritical assholes aren’t they? If ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne really had that big of an issue with the spending practices of Joe than it should have canceled Joe’s card, or at the very least renegotiated the APR. The fact that credit card company’s can retroactively adjust APRs without borrower approval stands as a testament to the financial lopsidedness these company’s posses.

So… Joe… if you’re out there here’s something to consider. Banks have no authority to extradite. Take you’re plane ticket, go on a shopping spree with your favorite ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne credit card, and have fun in a distant land. If ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne wants to fuck with Joe, then Joe should remind them how flimsy that contract truly is. If ChaseMotherFuck’nTDBankofAmericaOne wants to treat him as a pawn based on the fine print then maybe he should allow them to take that reading material and shove it, after all it might get boring with all that head up all that ass and nothing to read.